How will you feel when your child comes to you to say mum and dad, l do not love you; l love you only for what you give me. Won’t your heart break for eternity? Yet we constantly do this to God. If God allowed it all to be taken away, would you still look to him and say; l love you Father? If everything we loved was stripped and taken away, would we still look up to say Abba Father, I’m hurting but l love you!!
Honestly, if l have issues at my job, l would sit or lay on the ground praying away the day, if l have a loved one sick, l would shiver and keep praying till dawn breaks, yet when it seems my life is less chaotic, l stroll away from his presence sending lound inaudible messages of ” l don’t need you, I got this “.
Why do we think our lives are all about us and all we make of it? Have we forgotten that he knew us before he formed us in our mother’s womb? Personally, I am constantly torn between listening to inspirational facts about how l need to be in control of things and get them together. Anxiety breaks in because I really want to be in control of things. I forget that there is a Father who is saying, just bring it to me, break on me, and let me deal with it. The world is constantly saying through it’s various means, you have to be in control, no one owes you anything, and it constantly makes me feel like an orphaned child when indeed and truly my Father is the creator of the entire universe. Does this mean I’m still struggling with my identity as his daughter? Does this mean l can relate better to the world because it can be seen, and my Father is unseen? Do l really love God? Or l just need him because he keeps me out of trouble? Constantly, l give him my heart in pieces, like take this bit, and let me see if l can trust you with it, l give him my finances, and still claim the throne on my relationships, family, job and just life in general. The struggle is real but God is even more real.
We all need a change of heart, a heart that is desperately in love with God, a mind that is in love with his presence, a spirit that desires nothing more than obeying his will. l have come to understand that his love is scandalous and sometimes and no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to understand it. The reason why he loves us, l still don’t know but as l write, the Holy Spirit asked me a question, does a child ask his father; why do you love me? No, because a child understands that he is loved by his father. It is natural.
So, right here in this moment, my heart cry is, Father, help us to realize, and not stray from knowing how much you love us. May we not love you because of what we can get from you, may our love for you grow so much that if you strip us of everything, we will still look up to say Abba Father, we love you because we know how much you love us too. May our hardened spirit come into the understanding that you constantly want us, may our troubled minds rest in knowing that we don’t have to do anything more or extra but just accept your love, may our hearts be changed from the inside out to lean in, and relax in your embrace. May we never be detached but remain grounded in your unstoppable love.
Abba father, may our eyes always be lifted to you till the day we take our last earthly breath, and arise for the great reunion with you, in your kingdom that has no end. Amen